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Friday, 19 September 2008

Gangles and Grackles

Here is my adapted version of the collaborative poem group's first chain poem. I have severely mangled it and I hope I will be forgiven - but it was so much fun!

Gangling Grackles

We thought it a sign, the sudden shattering
of the sky, the screaming prophets
picking at lint balls in their pockets.
We thought it a sign, the flying
out of orbit of the world; but
what to make of the becalmed cup of coffee
or the street’s slow traffic gangling past doors
bolted against crows? What to make of grackles
who pitch a black sea of tails to flicker
across our lawns? Ah, any old crone could tell us
it’s not the sky we should fear but our own
unwilling witness of this unstable moment.

(Please go to above link to view the poem in its original form, and who the contributors are.)


Remiman said...

I love it; it reads so smoothly.
I haven't read the rest of your group's take and or rearrangments, but I can say that yours is the best. :-)

Becky Motew said...

Agree with remiman, totally.

Glad you're sorted out with blogger. I myself still cannot manage to put links in mine. I'm going to ask the son of a friend....what else can I do?


Dana said...

This rocks. It is not mangled at all. Thank you for being part of the group exercise. I am so stoked that you played with us. :)

Nathan said...

This is great. I like the way you make it succinct and pointed. Well done.

mama llama said...

Wow, Kay. What strong imagery.

And yet very smooth.

Great! Glad things seem to be working for the time being with Blogger. But what a pain.

Be well.

Rethabile said...

You actually unmangled it. Cool.

Kay said...

rel - Why thank you! :)

becky - And you too!
Bestof luck with the help ... I'll be asking my granddaughter soon!

dana - My pleasure truly.

nathan - Thanks - I hope I am allowed to do that.

mama llama - The imagery is not of my doing! But I agree.

rethabile - You are very kind to say so .


'how this all harbours light'