Follow by Email

Thursday, 12 October 2006

From Pizazz to a Puddle (almost a poem ... )

All day I was emotionally available - I had decided straight off I was going to give today my all.Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I hold back a little; keep a little in reserve. (In fact most days being the conservative, reserved and - it has to be said - uncharitable little biscuit that I am.)

I was there for the positive, warm response to parents and children as they entered the centre where I work. I was there for the little tantrums and hurt feelings when some other eighteen-month old pushed or pulled. I was there to name the birds and native flower cards. I was there to listen (in a quality way) to my colleagues. I was there for the second mile. I was there. I was engaged. I was connected.

After work I met a friend and we sat at a cafe by the sea, our conversation peppered with the wash of waves. The smell of seaweed and sand and the soft touch of warm sun made us feel like we were on holiday. And I was there for my friend. But by now, fading fast. And I still had the grocery shopping to do.

As we parted company, I noticed some bird crap on my jacket. Pshaw!!! No doubt some friggin' little random seagull flying overhead.But isn't that supposed to be good luck?

Then it was time to go and load up the supermarket trolley. Luckily when I got there, most of the hassled parents and their shrill children (or should that be the other way round? Sometimes indeed, it is) were all away at softball practice or Pippins. However, I don't know if vague and bewildered singles are any better. There seemed to be a lot of dreamers blocking the aisles while they looked at hair product and discussed with a friend whether to go darker. And stalling at the cabbages. University students, who at this stage of the year have fallen out with their flatmates - yes, the very ones they were so merry with in March ... now in October it's a grumble and a bitch by the broccoli about Tara and her complaints ...
"I don't give a fuck if she's allergic, it's just a cabbage for fuck's sake."

There's no other word for it, the woman at the checkout looked wizened. I felt guilty making her pack my groceries. (Even though I know that's just silly.)Overall, we must've exchanged about three smiles, and she was very perky when she told me how much it all came to.
"268.86," she said.
I thought it had rather a nice ring to it.

Outside in the car park, a high-school girl was playing the accordian and there was a smell in the air of chocolate from the chocolate factory across the road. At the first set of lights, I sat behind a middle-aged man in a cabriolet. The breeze was lifting tufts of his grey hair at the crown - even from the back you could tell he was feeling very cool and not at all regretful.

Tallest son C helped me unload the groceries from the car boot. Then as I was bringing in the washing from the line, he called from the doorstep,
"What did you have in mind for tea?"
He would be happy to cook it.
Bless you my son!

That was when I poured myself into my fluffy slippers and while I was at it, a small red wine.


clare said...

Ah, that sounds such a satisfying day, CB. I was with you all the way. fact I think I can smell that chocolate even from here.

apprentice said...

Your son sounds wonderful, mine would maybe carry the bags, but he wouldn't offer to cook. Funny how comfy feet define arriving home.

Deb R said...

What a lovely portrait of a day in your life!

chiefbiscuit said...

clare - Well at least it ended well - I felt a bit 'out of it' from tiredness - but I gave it my best shot!

apprentice - I think he was hungry!

deb r - Thank you - an ordinary day in the life of an ordinary woman!

Catherine said...

Oh wonderful! With som many children still at home, we put them on a roster to cook one night a week each - but they never volunteer if it's not "their turn". Have you ever done the chocolate factory tour?

January said...

Oooh, a small red wine. I could use one of those. Nicepost. Thanks for taking us through your day.

Cynthia E. Bagley said...

Lovely.. though tiring.. I think I need a nap. LOL

twitches said...

Glad I'm not the only one who pays that much for groceries!!

Tammy said...

I had such high hopes for the perfect day for you! Big hug to you and terrific son :)

I must confess I was smiling at your replay. Hehehe

Pam in Tucson said...

smiles! great day with a lovely ending. How wonderful to be consciously present. How often we don't notice.

chiefbiscuit said...

catherine - I need a roster - just a matter of organising one - altho one son leaves on Sunday for Queenstown - he's got a job as a guide for the Milford Track. That only leaves one son at home. Luckily he's very obliging & offers to cook when he can see I'm all cooked out, so to speak.
No have never done the choc tour ... one day when we have visitors who want to do it I think.

january - Go on - you know you want to. Altho' I guess if you're breastfeeding you can't! :)

cyn - LOL sorry to tire you out too!! ;)

twitches - tell me about it!!

tammy - God Bless 'em all!!!

panm - Thanks for taking the time to comment - I know you are very busy right now. Bless you.

ecm said...

I loved the beauty of this experience in the ordinary-ness of life.

Belle said...

Hi Chief,

A perfectly written account of your day.

Had some of the same sentiments and observations I often feel often.

I could feel the tiredness setting in at the end of the long day, so nice that you had a few minutes to sit and enjoy the cafe.

Your son is wise.

chiefbiscuit said...

ecm - Thanks so much. That is so sweet.

belle - Ditto. You are so wise too!

wendylou who? said...

Am I the only one who always doesn't understand something.
Pippins and wizened..Huh?

The rest I got and savoured. I love tea and Bisciuts!!


Jules said...

Chief - What a busy day - sounds exhausting but fulfilling. It's nice to come home to a wonderful son...maybe I should have one *wink*!

woman wandering said...

Oh delicious and it seemed you were at my favourite Countdown (hmmm or Pak and Save - I've been away too long now) in the city.

Cailleach said...

Almost a poem? I think that sometimes living life is a poem

Becky said...

Lovely day. You give such a mood, it's delightful.


chiefbiscuit said...

wendy - Pippins = ummm perhaps American equivalent to Rangers???
'wizened' = shrivelled ... wrinkled ... as in 'old-looking'.

tea = dinner or evening meal

And I am so chuffed you love biscuits.

(chuffed = pleased!)

chiefbiscuit said...

jules - Sons rock - in my humble opinion.

Di - Yep that was Countdown - right there opposite Cadbury's.

cailleach - You are right of course :)

becky - Thanks - I wish I was as funny as you are though!

mcdinzie said...

I became exhausting just reading this!! But I know what you mean about days like this....I'm like a whirling washing machine and there is so much I get done in that day...but only a day...:)

chiefbiscuit said...

mcdinzie - You are exhausting!! Or exhausted ... Enjoy your weekend. Hope the weather's kind and you can get some gardening and walking done. :)

Colorsonmymind said...

I could use a small red wine too:)

This has great flow to it...I loved trapsing through the day with you.

And what a nice thing-to have a son so considerate. I hope mine turns out to be too.


chiefbiscuit said...

colors - Thanks. I'm sure your son will - sons are always very sweet to their mothers. (They love their Mums!)

Meepers said...

Now I'm hungry. And sad with myself for sometimes avoiding people. Sounds lovely though- you obviously raised that boy right!

chiefbiscuit said...

meepers - Yes I can be a bit of a 'people-avoider' too. Except when I'm paid not to be!

Bug said...

Small red wine? Why not go for a large! I love your idea of being fully present. I'll have to think of how fully present I am as I go about my day tomorrow.

chiefbiscuit said...

bug - Shhh ... but I was actually being self-deprecating about being fully involved - and more than a little sarcastic. However as nobody picked it, it's back to the drawing board to try and work out a stronger self-deprecating voice! Also it was more like a medium-sized red wine. But definitely not large - I'm trying to lose weight.


'how this all harbours light'