Thursday, 24 August 2006

Poetry Time

This week's Poetry Thursday's theme of time, is a theme that has always fascinated me. I have written a lot of poems on that subject already. However, I did enjoy the challenge of coming up with yet another.
As it's a brand new poem, I haven't yet had the chance to give it the test of time (heh heh.)
No doubt I'll have to work on it a bit more yet before I consider it perfect. Meanwhile, please treat it as a bit of a toddler as far as poems go.


without or within


Every morning I wake to the sound of time.
It’s as if I wake again from the dead.
Another resurrection. Face it,
without time beating like a heart,
I would die. With nothing to hold it,
the sky would too. Without the shape
and frame of days, we’d all fall.
Without the dying and rising,
the existence of blue,
of slow seconds, the wave of gravity,
the space of an hour,
the resistance of tides and measured
moons; we’d all die. It would be as if
we never were.
I worry. Will I ever see you again?








35 comments:

clare said...

Not a toddler, CB, I would say this is fully grown and quite mature. I love it just as it is.

Helen said...

This describes Time beautifully. I Love this part ,

the space of an hour,
the resistance of tides and measured
moons; we’d all die. Well done! :)

Deb R said...

I like the idea of time as a frame on which life hangs rather than something to be struggled against. And for some reason I particularly like these lines:

"the existence of blue,
of slow seconds, the wave of gravity,
the space of an hour,"


although I can't quite put my finger on why it is that those lines in particular stand out to me.

Lovely post, CB.

January said...

I agree with what Deb said. I like thinking of time as a framework. You have a great line ("without time beating like a heart, I would die), while the rest of the poem supports that line.

Nice job!

wendy said...

This question, of time, as I have whined, puzzles me. Oh I love your poem. But would the sky fall? Do tides need the time? or does time need the tides? You have made me think deeply...you are a champion!

chiefbiscuit said...

clare - Thank you. I will give it the test of time. It may need something I can't 'see' until I've put some space between it and myself - and that takes time!

chiefbiscuit said...

helen - Thanks Helen - I love the whole idea of time measured by the tides and by the moon.

deb r - Thanks so much - I like that the poem lives and reverbrates in what others take from it - or, indeed, add to it - as you have. Much appreciated.

january - I think you're right that the poem centres around that line - that gives me food for thought. Thanks so much.

wendy - Thank you - I don't know how to put a finger on time either - but it's fun trying to describe such an elusive subject! Scientifically speaking ... well ... I'll have to ask my science teacher husband about that.

natalie said...

Every morning I wake to the sound of time.
It’s as if I wake again from the dead. Another resurrection.


Love this part. Every morning I wake to the sound of... an alarm clock, sounding the time. A different way for the time to make noise... but I think that waking to the sound of time sounds much more peaceful! :-)

This poem made me think of the following quote, which I thought you'd appreciate seeing:

"What is time, then? If nobody asks me, I know; if I have to explain it to someone who has asked me, I do not know."
-St. Augustine, in Confessions

Minx said...

A dear friend said to me not so long ago, that we should never consider them finished. The ones that don't leave us alone, the ones that wake us in the middle of the night are the ones that need further work.
From where I stand this looks pretty well-rounded but this comes from someone who is often awake in the small hours!!

apprentice said...

I too like the framework idea, and I think it is true, lives seem to unravel when they lose touch with time's rhythm, the demented, the insomniac etc

chiefbiscuit said...

natalie - Thanks - I like the way you describe the alarm clock as time making a noise!
And you're right - I do love the quote - thank you so much.

minx - Same - I'm often awake in the small hours too.

apprentice - Yeah - hadn't thought about that aspect specifically - but I can see what you mean - thanks.

twitches said...

This is very nicely done. I love how it accelerates at the end, with your listing of things we can't live without.

Cynthia E. Bagley said...

Wonderful... you are great.
;-)

pepektheassassin said...

Chief, there are so many wonderful lines and images in this that to name them I would just have to repost your entire poem! So good! Congrats on the award for your story as well! (What a great tree).

Catherine said...

It's a lovely poem, and congratulations on the short story award. I am just back from holiday and trying to catch up on blogs - a difficult task with so many good ones in my bookmarks.

Becky said...

nicely done, Chief.

You have the gift.

becky

Meander Knot Press said...

For some reason this made me think of gravity. Time and gravity, what a pair they are!

chiefbiscuit said...

twitches - Thanks - I can see what you mean - it wasn't deliberate. I think I was going with the idea of time's beat ... sometimes we don't know what we're doing do we?

cynthia - Thanks Cyn ... So are you!

pepek - Thanks so much - I am going t get to your writing soon - a bit busy just now - but I promise to repay the visit; I miss reading your stuff when I can't get there.

catherine - You are doing well - I have got some catching up to do too after a busy weekend AWAY from the computer.

becky - Thanks so much you writer-of-excellence-yourself, you author of merit! :)

mkp - Thank you - yes I agree. Two great subjects indeed - hand in hand they can make quite an impact (in more ways than one ...)

a wandering woman writes said...

I loved this, I want to note it down somewhere ... :)

Nice work!

chiefbiscuit said...

ww - Thanks Di! That makes me feel happy ... :)

Cailleach said...

CB, I've posted comments on your poem, which I think is wel written and very pertinent, and they haven't come up on your blog - Am starting to worry that blogger doesn't like me :¬(

chiefbiscuit said...

cailleach- This comment of yours made it - so thanks! I have been having trouble with leaving comments too.

Tammy said...

Great job! Too many favorite parts to quote and it flowed beautifully. Love the subject :)

paris parfait said...

Beautiful powerful poem exploring the fragility of life.

chiefbiscuit said...

tammy - Yhanks so much, the subject of time I find fascinating and it always grabs my attention.

chiefbiscuit said...

paris parfai - Thank you. Life does seem to be fragile - sometimes it scares me just how fragile.

kj said...

really gets me thinking. 26 comments before me says everything. nice work!

Jules said...

Without time beating like a heart I would die
It really does frame our entire existence...what would we do without it? Great message here...love it.

abhay k said...

Hi,
there is no greater truth than the question you raise through your poem...
cheers!

Endment said...

I know what you mean about poems growing :) I prefer to let mine soak for quite some time before they venture out into the fearsome world of critics and such frightful things.

This is ready to venture out on its own.

chiefbiscuit said...

kj - Thanks - half the comments are me!

jules - thanks so much - you do my heart good!

abhay k - Hi - good to see you again - thanks for your comments, much appreciated.

endment - So kind! Thanks. Your poems are always very well-thought out and perfectly formed; you obviously steep them well!

pepektheassassin said...

You are very busy. I worry. Will I ever see you again?

chiefbiscuit said...

pepek - Thanks for worrying! (No. I don't mean that. Worrying is never nice.) But it's nice to be missed all the same!
I am promising myself to get back to the blogging this weekend.
Meanwhile ... it's work, reading and sleep! - Not always necessarily in that order!

wendy said...

Good ...I'm glad you are ok...hope to hear you soon!

chiefbiscuit said...

Hi Thanks Wendy! I am blogging now as I speak / write ... :)

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